I know I’m not alone when I talk about life changes, but honestly, do they all have to show up at once? I’m baffled by how amazingly incredible one area of my life can be while the other is just a big steaming pile of crap. One day is sunshine and daffodils while the next is gloom and more crap. Certainly I can figure out how to get the ratio of daffodils to crap to come up daffodils a bit more often.

This past year has completely overwhelmed and short-circuited me on quite a few levels. I’ve been overwhelmed with joy one moment and short-circuited by 3D obligations in the next. My anxiety was off the chart at times, but the flip side is that I remembered to breathe more often and it passed much more quickly than it used to. I had opportunities this past year that I still can’t believe. On the sunshine and daffodils side, I experienced 187 miles of the Grand Canyon while rafting the Colorado River. Definitely the trip of a lifetime and one I’m glad I decided to take as it was doubtful for a while. About 6 weeks later I traveled to Black Rock City, Nevada and spent a month in the desert working the Burning Man festival. The actual “burn” is only a week long culminating in burning the “Man” the Saturday before Labor Day, but the city is built, lived in fully, and deconstructed in that basic timeframe. My group fed the workers who built and maintained the infrastructure and helped to keep them hydrated. In addition, the Rangers, Medics, Artists and various volunteers also came through at one time or another. I managed the Dining Hall and at one point, we were feeding close to 400 people 3 times a day. It was usually somewhere around 150 per meal, but when the numbers spiked, I got a good feeling of how Jesus must’ve felt looking at a huge crowd then looking at a fish and a few loaves of bread. In the end it was all about getting the job done even though I’m sure there was someone in the mix complaining about something.

In addition to these 2 life-changing experiences, I was gifted 2 trips. Incredible! This past spring, a friend gifted me a trip to Las Vegas and this past October, another friend called to see if I’d be interested in taking in Cabo San Lucas? Gee. Let me think about this for maybe 2 seconds. Time I have. Money?—Not so much. My old beliefs and my definition of responsibility almost kept me home. My sincere thanks to friends who kept reminding me that when in doubt, go for the experience. That’s quickly become my new mantra.

While I was having a fabulous time admiring the daffodils and soaking in the sunshine, I was simultaneously experiencing the gloom and steaming piles of crap side of life. The events of my past year could produce the content of several country songs. Lay offs, record snowfall the day I put my house on the market (which pulled the gutters off my house when the snow began to melt), throwing good money after bad (again with the gutters), underemployment, health issues, water leaks & drywall dilemmas, hurricane winds (Hurricane Ike came all the way to the Midwest just to launch my chimney cap and attached flue to parts unknown). There was also heartbreak interspersed with healthy doses of chaos and pandemonium. After a last minute short-sale on my "As-Is" dwelling, I avoided foreclosure but was now homeless—or what I prefer to call, “home free”. I joked with my brother that the only difference between me and any homeless person on the street was that my shopping cart had a motor that allowed me to get on the highway and I had a brother with an empty room he wasn’t using in his house. (I think he’s just trying to make amends for all the times he tried to kill me growing up.) So, I recently moved over 700 miles and I’m starting over at a time in my life I thought I’d be ready for retirement and the good life. Instead, I just planted a new bed of daffodils and decided anywhere I am is the “good life”. The change in geography is proving to be just what I needed and at least there's more sunshine here.

I’m still going through mixed emotions about this next chapter that just began. One moment I’m excited about the potentials and the next, I'm afraid I don't have the courage to make it one more day. Typical life stuff. I have decided that I’m ready for all the sunshine and daffodils life has to offer and when a turd shows up, I’ll be sure to step around it rather than having to scrape it off later. This past year’s gift has been one of clarity—clarity in what I don’t want. To me, the most valuable gift of the year, for sure. Charles Dickens said it all for me this year. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."

Until next time, remember to breathe deeply and often, as balance is key in navigating the chaotic times we’re in, and relax!  Sometimes a cup of coffee is just a cup of coffee.