In the midst of everything that is happening in my life, I feel as if I am on a continuous merry-go-round. I'm standing in the center of the merry-go-round, watching my life go around me. Meanwhile, simultaneously in opposition, I feel another source against me.

We can all recognize this metaphor. The center of the merry-go-round gave me control because I knew where I was standing. I thought I could see everything and anything that may come towards me. I thought I would be prepared to do something and respond quicker. What I wasn't aware of was this is the illusion.

Standing there with strength and confidence within this illusion; I believe I am in control to handle anything. In this moment, I realize this illusion was my own reality. A belief I chose to create to protect myself. Yet, this feeling of being out of control was actually the fear of the unknown and the unexpected.

Imagine where in your life you felt in control, and yet, out of control. This is a feeling called anxiety. Today, prescribed medication is used as the solution. Anxiety is caused by stress. The stressor is "being out of control". It is an unexplainable conundrum.

I found in my research that anxiousness can cause one to become obsessive. You are constantly working on putting things in perspective so you don't think you are crazy. It gives a sense of control.

The cycle begins to look like the metaphor I mentioned with the merry-go-round. In control/confident standing in the middle knowing where you are. However, the opposition are the repetitive thoughts and reaction of not being enough. The result will only bring the feeling of failure.

Failure becomes a reality driving someone to be obsessive with perfectionism. No one wants to fail. The actions taken to be good enough produces psychosomatic results feeding off of the obsessions.

This feeling of failure surfaces because you are unable to make things right. You actually try to fix it. But everything you do seems to fall apart instead. You start to feel that everything is intangible. What is the truth at this point?

You lose the integrity of your word, then your own identify, and eventually affecting your self esteem. What is your word? It is lost within the illusion. You now become the victim of submission because you now believe you don't have choice.

How do you capture your truth and your word? The more out of control you feel triggers not enough. In that moment you lose your power of choice. The choice to be who you are without always second guessing yourself. The doubt infests your soul like a disease. This motion creates a magnitude of thoughts and beliefs plagued with the doubts. You do not want to feel helpless. Yet, to feel helpless is out of control.

As you can see the motion is a continuum of emotions and feelings. Many of you will pay the price by feeling guilty instead. This way if you do the right thing people will accept you. The obvious choice would be to have harmony [which is the illusion]. It is up to you to know you are good enough and it isn't about being right or looking good.

Again, choice must be made from truth of who you are and what you want. Not choose from guilt and shame. Life evolves around you and yet, guilt and shame creates a reality as a belief you are accepted.

Think for a moment. What is it that you want? Is it love? Is it to be liked? How is this accomplished? Many of you have worked hard creating a reality of "doing the right thing". Therefore, you don't look bad or that you are not a bad person. Repetition of this reality can only be destructive.

For example, abusive relationships is one example of these illusions that becomes a reality. Submission is the illusion of control. Yes, the illusion to do 'right' so you are accepted amongst peer groups, family, or wherever you feel you must FIT in and look right in other people's eyes. You will drive yourself into repetitive feelings of rejection.

You are in constant competition within your conscious and subconscious mind. Thoughts of making the right choice over the emotions of being accepted and love. This triggers so many memories that the body holds on to. It can trigger fear, rejection, being alone,.....

If each one of you looked around, stopped and was in silence; you would know what the truth is saying within your heart. You may not always listen to what is in your heart or your intuition, but it does speak to you. How many times do you ignore it or battle back and forth with your thoughts and emotions?

Look at your illusion as a stepping stone to assist you to create a reality only from truth. Ask yourself why you want to fit in? Why is the focus to please others imperative? Many times judgment through the eyes of 'good enough' will cause you to choose. The effect causes you to feel controlled by others and out of control because your choice will never be good enough.

Take a moment to choose from "I am enough" and watch how things change around you. This will no longer be a choice to do what others expect of you. You are not alone! No one wants to feel rejected. Make choices from your own truth.

Oh yes! You will make a mistake. Mistakes are great. A mistake is the moment in time that is a reality. Mistakes allow you to grow and trust yourself. Make choices not from fear or perfectionism. A mistake may be considered as being out of control. Remember, this is an illusion. Yes, there is a price to make from choice. A mistake can be corrected if you learn its lesson. A lesson that can build strength in your character of who you are. Today, a mistake is misunderstood as a failure. Instead of knowing that you can choose to do something different and it is in integrity with you. Get clear that choice is control of what you want, not what is expected.

When you fall off the horse, you have two choices. You either get up and ride the horse again or you give up. You can look forward not behind you. You fell off, so what. Dust yourself off and keep moving forward.

Anyone can create an illusion. Be clear about what you decide to make a part of your reality. The opposition can happen any time if you allow it to control you. Identify the difference between your illusions and truth. Not what others want or expect; thus, taking away from your soul. Bottom line the truth of who you are is about your reality. Clearly decide your reality is because you are ENOUGH. Take this truth as your word and your inner strength giving you personal power to decide what you want. No one can take your power away unless you give it away.

Be committed to you! Become the reality. Be the light within. You are love.

Live Fully, Heal Thoroughly!

Love,
Charmaine Lee