Forgiveness is a funny thing, because if we believe that there is no “right or wrong”, then there is nothing to forgive.  And yet, part of the human experience is feeling your emotions.  So, when someone says or does something that we find offensive, or that hurts us in some way; we feel the emotions of anger, or resentment, or some other emotional pain.  It is often very difficult to forgive someone for causing such pain.

If you step back and really consider the situation, however, you can see that holding onto whatever emotions you are feeling is harming you – not the person you feel has “wronged” you.  This is true whether you’ve been “wronged” by an individual, a group of individuals, or even an institution or business.  You are the one feeling the anger, feeling the resentment, feeling the ongoing pain.

So, what if you’re feeling anger?  So what if you have vowed to “never forgive”?  Is there any harm in holding onto these emotions?  More and more it seems the answer is “yes”, there is harm – to you, though not necessarily to the other person.  Continued anger, resentment, and frustration hang a cloud over your life, and can create or exacerbate both psychological and physical issues.  Perhaps the most damaging situation is when we refuse to forgive ourselves for our own shortcomings and lapses in judgment.

So what does forgiveness look like?  For me, it is a clearing of the emotions that are not serving me.  It is a “letting go” of the anger, the resentment, the shame or embarrassment; whatever emotions are gnawing at my insides and clouding my day. 

Forgiveness is not about being anyone’s doormat or allowing inappropriate or unacceptable behavior.  It is not about throwing away your ability to discern who and what supports you.  It is about taking down energetic walls that may be blocking you from the situations and experiences that make life worth living.

If you find that you want to forgive, but are having trouble with the actual “act” of forgiveness, you can contact us for help in that arena.  This is part of what we do, and we have a process that we teach to assist you in forgiving.  We use our own tools, and I have found that the ability to forgive, to let go of the underlying emotions, has made me a happier and healthier person – as well as more fun to be around.

It is said that “To err is human, to forgive; divine.”

So, practice forgiveness and let your individual spark of divinity shine through!

Namaste!

Susan M Wright