The Tune of a Saved Child


There are children at home who don't feel safe.

They are abused, neglected. The people who should take care of them, can't or don't.

It sounds so simple: children need to feel safe in order to develop. It's a basic need.

What is safety and how do children experience it? Feeling safe is a feeling, a subjective vibe.


Grown ups have got a trained mind. Children who grow up in war zones, can't feel safe the majority believes.
When you have got a spotless childhood, it's most likely you grow up as a person who feel safe.

Bullshit if you ask me.


Being born is such an intense experience, that transition alone can give you a very unsafe feeling.

From home, from heaven you are transitioning into a body. You are flowing into a reality that feels extremely dense, with all his gravity. The veil, the feeling of being separate from home can be such a shock. That alone can give you enough stamps and is enough to give you the feeling of being unsafe in your tummy.

On the other hand children are so flexible. We can't fill in the lines for them. What seems so likely for us, doesn't have to be the truth for them. Perhaps they have experienced horror and still they feel safe. Or they don't have got any other reference for what safety and the feeling of being unsafe means.


Let's dive into safety from the inside out. Let's be honest: the world can be a hard place to live in. Although you embrace your child with the most love you have in you and you do all you can to create the most loving places, we live in a world of duality. You child makes his/her choices and has an own soul plan to live by.Safety is a wide definition of a feeling that seems undefinable. In safety your child can experience and test borders, go on adventure, express themselves, even being scared and a wide range of other emotions can be experienced in a safe space.

It's the feeling there is a safety net, that you always can fall back into, no matter what.


Do you remember how you felt lost? Immensely scared and desperate? Do you remember how you started to experienced safety? How that feeling made you even more sad?

That's what I experienced when I started to build a safe heaven inside myself. I discovered how lost I was, how lonely I have been and how I have build walls around me as a child.


I often describe that process as 'melting'. Being hard, destructive, living with thick walls around you is one thing. Being soft, flowing, with an open heart is another. The process from the hard way to the soft way was very hard for me. It's letting go of the old, allowing love, and with that experience pain. It's letting go of numbness and seeing clearly how unsafe you feel. How less grounding you have. It's also a great time of creating, of setting new intentions. Of taking your power and healing yourself.This process often happens when we are a bit older, at the end of our teen years, or when we are adults.


How do we guide our children when they are feeling unsafe?
There are great exercises they can do to feel safe.

Let's take Emma, a child who is being bullied at school. She feels very unsafe. Children ignore her, and Emma started to hide her light.You can find her alone in a corner, when the other children gather in groups for lunch break.

Emma thinks about nature, about the trees and the river. She is angry at life, cause she has to be here. She wants to sing and dance. For now she wants to sleep.

She doesn't sleep well at night. She feels the energies of her parents who argue all the time. Although they are divorced, they argue over the phone. When she lays in her bed, the figures in her room become clearer. The green witch with the white doves visit her. One day in a dream the green witch was chasing her. One night in her dream she was at school, and entered the changing room of the gym.
Emma hates the figures. She hates the feeling in her tummy. She hates the fact that she has to go to school tomorrow.

She loves the mornings, when the sun and the sounds of the birds wake her. She loves the big tree in front of her window who sings for her.

For now Emma sits still in the corner at the school canteen. She imagines a big tent surrounding her. It's her tent, totally filled with her energy. At first someone told her about creating a tent, she thought it's a stupid exercise, but she feels it works. As she is walking through the halls now in school, she feels centered in her own space. Her head is slowly rising. She sees more of what is happening around her. Through the window she sees a bird landing at a branch.

Now she is in her own space, she carefully picks a spot in class. She attracts students who give her a smile. In the next hour, she can focus at the lesson and can forget all her troubles.


Emma has got the ability to create her own safe space. You can make a difference by creating the safe space, in where also other children experience they can heal themselves.


6 ways for children to save themselves:


  • The tent. 
  • Imagine a tent around yourself, totally filled with your energy. It's your sacred place no one can enter. You are always safe in the tent.

  • The rainbow bubble.

    Imagine a big bubble surrounding you filled with rainbow colors. You are totally safe in the bubble. No one can harm you. The rainbow bubble gives you superpowers. You can open your heart and imagine a beam from your heart to theirs.

  • The crown that makes you smile.

    I give you a special crown. When you wear it, you start to smile. Many other people start to smile back to you. Some people don't smile back. That doesn't matter. Perhaps one day they will find the smiling crown also. You can imagine another crown that you lay in the room. It makes it easier for them to find it.

  • Angel hands.

    For when you feel alone. Call all your angel friends. They are standing next to you, holding hands with you. It's a very big circle. Everyone you meet can join the circle. You are never alone.

  • The sun.

    Do you remember summertime? You are swimming and suddenly a dark cloud drops by. You are swimming to where the sun is, so you don't get cold. Although you are not swimming now, you can follow the warmth the sun gives you. Who makes you happy? Which grown up makes you feel safe? You can drop by for a visit, or a little chat. When you are too shy, you just can search that person and walk by with a smile.

  • The bubblegum machine.

    You are like a gum machine! That sounds silly, doesn't it? You are! With the games you play, the way you dress, what you write, or how you dance. You are making all this great stuff that perhaps no one sees. Ha that doesn't matter. It makes you happy, so do it every second you have got. Do you collect stones? Or read many books about dinosaurs? Way way cool!! Do all those things you like as much as you can. Just remember you are a bubblegum machine that refills itself.