I have no idea what anything means anymore and I gave up trying to figure out the best direction for my life once it became quite clear to me that my HS (Higher Self) has been in charge all along and I’m only along for the ride. My HS doesn’t care whether I’m broke, hungry, fat, miserable, thrilled, covered in scabs or living in a van down by the river. Whatever it came to experience will be experienced despite all the conscious co-creation I attempt. I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’m the exception to every universal law on the books. I’m a cosmic anomaly and my HS is trying to see just how much crap I’ll ingest, shovel or skim before experiencing a psychotic break. I openly admit that I’ve had my moments. Toss in a healthy dose of pre-menopausal moments along with the ascension factor and every card in the cosmic deck has been stacked against me. What was I thinking (or not obviously considering) when I made those agreements on the other side? What sadistic streak does my HS possess?

So in this sacred moment of choice, once again I choose to surrender to the wisdom of my HS because my human logic says I’d be happier if I’d have checked out of this Earth experience some time ago. And to those cosmic forces determined to thwart my personal path to ascension, you’ll have to crank it up a notch. Despite your current attempt with this three-pronged energy crunch of solstice subterfuge, solar flares and a solstice punctuated by yet another grand cross alignment, well, I fart in your general direction.^* Certainly you got the memo that no matter the volume of crap you dump on my path, I have no choice but to just keep clearing it. I’m programmed for hope and faith that there will be an end to the repetitive drama and stench. I’m also convinced that my HS is close to making peace with the idea that there are no more deserts to wander, no more oceans to swim and finally declare all my personal piles and ponds to be cleared and clean once again.  Take note that I am complete with the crap portion of my personal human experience this time around and I now call forth the joy and happiness I’ve heard and read so much about. It’s time the cosmos realizes that all its tricks are futile. I may be riding the short bus to ascension but at some level I do believe I’ll arrive and once I do, the only shoveling I’ll do is to uncover miracles and perhaps plant a few flowers and a tomato or two.

^*my favorite line from Monty Python’s The Holy Grail