I love the new location that I work at part time. It’s beautiful with trees and mountains and great people all around. Last night on my way home, I felt such a deep sadness that it was difficult to drive. I stopped and walked a beautiful labyrinth down the road; choosing to be alone rather than attending my monthly women’s group.  I needed a pep talk and help but my pattern is to go to my cave first. I find solace and then return to the world. My role is cheerleader, emissary of joy. When I’m not having fun, I hold the pain close, sharing only with a few long-time friends. I offer the wisdom that comes to me to the rest of the world, after I’ve processed the situation and shifted my perceptions to one that feels better to me. My goal is to understand and respond from a wiser state of mind with more compassion.

I called my long-time friend with tears in my voice to get comfort and wisdom. First she told me what she’d do in this situation.  She’s a Leo, ( I laugh ), she reminds me I’m a peacemaker.  She reminds me that I generally move like water, smoothly fitting in, supportive, sometimes taking charge of a situation and occasionally turbulent. 

I’m sad and my heart is breaking because amongst great beauty, service and authentic healing, I feel deep despair and illness. Many lightworkers, therapists, and healers have healed their own lives and help so many others. They continue to expand and bring enlightenment to their purpose and offer their wisdom to others for the greater good of all.  I was blindsided by a therapist co-worker using spirit-based rhetoric and I didn’t see it coming. It pulled the rug out from under me. I had to ask myself if I’d been out of line or arrogant. I didn’t understand what set her off.

Is she threatened by me? She said she has seniority but I’m getting special treatment as the new therapist. She set up firm boundaries in a voice message after we had a three hour discussion after work. Did I miss something??  

My friend pointed out that in my work, I normally see people that are happy to see me and want help, resolution, and personal growth. No wonder I was shocked and caught off guard. I only met this co-worker once before. How could I have such a great impact on her life already?

Occasionally I meet women that hold so much anger, resentment, and a competitive nature and speak in sugar-coated “spirit told me” language that is confusing and incongruent. It’s draining and it feels like an emotional vampire sucked me dry.  I was vulnerable last Saturday. The phone message to stay out of her space was on Thursday’s full moon. That message frightened me.

I understand when someone acts from fear and feels threatened. I used to have a lot of fear and reacted defensively. The acronym: “False emotions appearing real”, helps me to realize that I have the power to change how I respond. I’m feeling stronger and I am now  aware that fear may be driving her actions.  I don’t like being around that blaming energy though. There are so many gifted lightworkers that know there’s enough work for all of us. I’ve been blessed. I am blessed by all of you.

 FEAR is around and it happened to get to me with this co-worker. I have been reminded that love heals all and I have an unlimited supply and I  choose to walk in that belief. I hope this article is a reminder that, together, we can help heal the world. If something happens that momentarily knocks you down, what’s important is how you get back up.
Espavo Many Blessings and Joy,