The other night, Phil and I had dinner with a dear friend.  As we often do, our conversation covered many topics and included the telling of an incident, which happened a little over fifty years ago. 

My first husband and I were living in a duplex apartment and I was expecting our first child in about two months.  The neighbors in the other end of the duplex liked to party and had numerous loud ones.  They usually ended early, so there was no real issue with them.  This night, however, one of the partiers decided to replenish the booze and keep the party going.  To that end, he walked to the local corner store to purchase another bottle or two.  When he returned, the party was over and all the lights were off.  Not to let a little thing like that disrupt a good party, he decided to go in through the window.  The only problem is he chose the wrong window.  In fact, he chose the wrong end of the duplex.  Our end. 

Our bed was under the window and I woke to see an arm moving through the air over us.  I punched my husband in the side and he slid out of bed.  I slid out on the other side and made my way to the kitchen.  Don’t know why I chose the kitchen, but I did.  We had no telephone so we were on our on.  I heard nothing coming from the bedroom and I stood my ground in the kitchen.  Soon, I heard the kitchen screen being moved and the window opening.  I picked up my rolling pin and held my breath.  Sure enough, the arm came through the window and began its movement through the air.  Gathering my courage, I hit the arm.  Hard.  With a loud yelp, the arm was withdrawn.  About that time, the Shore Patrol drove up (neighbors had called them) and they took charge of the situation.  I’m not sure to this day, but think I probably cracked the bone in his arm.  In the telling of the story, we laughed at the absurdity of the arm through the window; the state of inebriation and ensuing confusion. 

I’ve told that story many times but this was the first time that I remembered the fear.  I was afraid and my instincts kicked in.  I was expecting my first child and all the maternal energies focused on protection.  I also realized that each time I told the story, I worked it to make it humorous.  I think many of us use humor to cope with strong emotions and fear is certainly a strong emotion.

Several years ago, energies began coming onto the planet.  Many people were sensitive to the energy and were able to absorb into their systems with little or no difficulty.  Around the world people began to wake to a new awareness.  Something big was happening and it was exciting.  The energy kept coming onto the planet.  It began getting stronger.  It began to shift.  As more and more people became aware and awake, more and more energy kept pouring onto the planet. 

As people became aware, they began searching.  They began opening up to thoughts, ideas, possibilities which had never been there before.  The excitement grew.  They began looking for teachers and classes.  And they found them.  And they found something else.   Fear.

We’ve all experienced that delicious fear when riding a roller coaster or the Ferris wheel.  We’ve all held our breath in shivering anticipation in our favorite scary movie, from Frankenstein (of my youth) to Freddie.  Attractions at theme parks have long, long, long lines of people waiting to be scared in the Haunted House or Space Mountain, etc., etc.  There is a physical ‘rush’ of exhilaration as the body experiences fear.

In the most recent months, I’ve seen articles on a variety of topics and buried somewhere within, like an afterthought, is the word fear.  Two weeks ago, there was a letter in Dear Abby from a young woman with children expressing her fear but not able to identify fearing anything specific.  Yesterday a friend called to talk and expressed an overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty.  This is a woman who walks the spiritual path as a shaman and travels other world confidently.  Where is this fear coming from?

This fear is quite different from that ‘rush’ of exhilaration or the phobia type fear of spiders, snakes, flying, etc.  This fear is moving deep within our psyche.  It can’t be identified.  It is felt.   It is as though fear is in the very air we are breathing.  It surrounds us and moves through us.

The world situation accounts for some it.  Some prices are going up.  Other prices are going down.  Those going up are gas, food, clothing, and utilities.  How do we keep paying more when the paycheck isn’t going up enough to keep pace.  Or you’re on a fixed income.  Home sale prices are going down.  I will tell you, I don’t understand the world of economics but even I can understand that when you purchase something for mega thousands of dollars and the pay back is based on variables and the variables suddenly sky rocket your monthly house payment way beyond your means, that’s scary.  Not only is it scary for the individual, but the impact on the overall economy is scary.  For some people, this is what’s scary and the cause of the fear.

Our country is at war.  Many of us have loved ones, family members and/or friends directly involved in the conflict.  The daily news reports facts and figures and people are dying in this war.  That’s scary and for some, this is the cause of the fear.

Many of us are coping with illness, either within ourselves or someone we love.  Many of us have children who are coping with school and all its drama.  And so the list of possibilities for the seat of fear goes on.

But, these are life events that have gone on and on for many years.  So, are these the real source of fear for us? 

Was there ever a time in our history that we didn’t have fear?  According to some, there was.  In the Golden Age that existed during the time of Lemuria, there was no fear.  The world which existed then didn’t provide any reason to know fear.  Everyone looked out for each other; all needs were met and there were no enemies.  As the light bodies became more dense responding to the change in the earth’s atmosphere and other being introduced into the planet and other countries developed, feelings began to shift as well.  By the time Atlantis came into being and then was destroyed, people began to feel that emotion we have come to know as fear.  So fear has been around for a long time. 

I’ve asked several times, what’s the source of this fear.  Why is it different?  Many  of us are aware that we are in a “countdown” to the year 2012.  Prophesies from all cultures talk of the end times and the Mayan calendar runs out in December 2012.  Many books are coming out; many workshops are being offered.  Each with their understanding of what will happen., what the significant earth changes will be, and  where the most catastrophic events will happen.  Or not.  So is this fear of the unknown the source?

It is also a known fact that this country is getting older.  The population is rapidly moving to a majority well into the senior years.  As we age, the reality of death becomes more visible.  Could this be the underlying reason for this deep level fear?

            I must be totally honest with you.  I don’t know the answer  to what this fear is all about.  Maybe it’s a combination of everything, but  I think this is one of those mysteries which cannot be dealt with from the left side of our brain.  It is something we recognize as being a mystery which can only be felt.  How, then, do we cope with it?

Some of the stock answers are to stay grounded; don’t hold onto to the fear-energy; think happy thoughts.  My way of dealing with fear—real gut wrenching fear like going to the dentist—is to see the fear as a mist and that I can walk through the mist.  I’m not sure this trick will work with this fear because it already is like a mist.  So, I am going to stay grounded.  I won’t hold onto the fear-energy and allow it to become a part of me.  I will recognize that fear is not my enemy.  As Winston Churchill said, the only thing you have to fear is fear itself.  I will be strong in my beliefs but flexible.  I will allow myself to be afraid and continue doing what I feel I must.  And I will trust.  Trust that others will remain strong in their center, in their beliefs and I will trust that we can come together and do it this time.  Because this time, I want to do it right.  For myself.  For my family.  For my friends.  For you.

I will close by paraphrasing (with apology to) Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs because the fear’s too strong;

If you can trust yourself when all others doubt you…

…If you meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same…

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all people count with you but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance unended

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And, which is more, you will have ascended!!

Until next month when another thread will be woven into the tapestry,  I wish you many blessings, love and much humor!