There is a veil over all of us, as we all watch our economy. None of us can deter the energy as more homes go into foreclosure; more people are losing their jobs, and costs of living are going up.

During these times, you are not alone as you take a look at the relationship you have with money? It is clearer as you feel that the weight of how much you have equals who you are. There is an endless relationship with monetary value.

This has been a question for so many of us. I know that it has been a trigger for those who had to live paycheck to paycheck. Being aware of what you do have and what you don’t have.

Reflecting back to my childhood years, I found that my parents struggled with their relationship with money. I wonder if this is something passed from one generation to another. How can others be so lucky and can attain money easily.

I know for myself there were many mixed emotions stirring up my feelings about myself. Why was I feeling this way? Was I making stories to justify my situation? What didn’t I do? If only I would have, should have and could have….

Emotions more intense bringing up the stored opinions or beliefs of oneself as each question begins to bring up memories. The memories triggering one’s inadequacies and failures throughout life based on what other people expect of you.

You all have your own perspectives and thoughts in relationship with money. The more money you have the better you feel. If you lose your job, it devastates you leaving you with helplessness, but more so in an abyss of loneliness.

Failure equals lack which the lack of money brings up your deepest fears. But is it the lack of money? Or is it judgment from others and the expectation of why you couldn’t keep a job.

Yes, you're feeling the responsibility to provide a way of life has now become imperative. If you have a family, it becomes even more critical when attempting to survive, no longer about pleasure or joy. Feelings of failure wrapped in deprivation.

You feel more out of control. Reality is our economy is in control. It dictates what each of us can and cannot do. Fear is driven into our total being. You begin to question your choices.

Take time to listen to the silence. Listen to what it saying about your fear. What is actually being echoed? Who are you? How is this fear reflecting back to you?
 
Your fear is how you relate to money. A relationship all of us have because of a reward system. A reward system of when you were first able to understand the exchange of being noticed and not alone. There was a lot of attention given when you did something right.

This is when monetary values became part of who you are. An illusion eventually is created to quantify your worth based upon other people’s opinions. Opinions you place value as to who you are.

I spoke to someone the other day about unemployment. He was devastated by the loss of his job. He explained his loss having brought up his worthiness. Not having any money equaled his worth. This is how he measured himself as a human being.

How did he get here? If he felt cheated financially, his relationship with money he learned was from being afraid of being abused or manipulated. He shared how he does all the right things and yet, others who don’t have it easier. A belief validated by his loss of his job. It caused grief and deep pain as he saw the value of himself diminish amongst his family and friends.

A couple of days later he found himself being stingy with the money he did have. Yes, the struggle is valid when losing a job. However, it brought up fears of being loved or having intimacy. Pushing people away because you don’t deserve it.

It is apparently clear that fear was the bottom line reality. Losing the job, running out of money, being alone, abandonment; not being enough is what you start identifying yourself with. The feeling of being wounded or broken begins to gain strength within.

Deprivation and shame sets within your heart and whole being. It becomes a cycle of feeling out of control when money is out of control. Many of us do not want to be left out. You start another cycle called guilt. There is an endless cycle that is triggered as it reflects back whether or not you deserve to have a relationship with money.

You don’t want to start borrowing because it is neediness. Financially it weighs deep into pain, not being loved, you have nothing; therefore you know you are nothing. And you are wondering how you are going to pay back the people who you owe. You just felt your emotions fulfilled when you “received” this loan.

You feel ashamed thereafter as you look at your bank balance and your outstanding debts. You begin to feel “badly” as a person. The thoughts of prosperity never existed because you never kept enough for yourself; money just kept slipping through your fingers.

Today there are so many of these feelings flying around. No one wants to trust or get close with anyone. You start to feel as if the walls are closing in around you. You don’t want to be close to anyone for fear of showing the truth of the relationship you have with yourself.

You and I cannot change the path of our economy.  Stop and listen to the silence right now.  Within space and time there is the gap.  In this moment listen to what you are hearing.  Are you hearing what you believe about self?  The belief of self is triggered and your reactions begin the cycles of repetition.
 
You become stuck like quicksand as you are succumbed by your thoughts and beliefs.  In the gap of silence is where it is hard to pay attention.  However, the gap is where the source of truth of who you are exists.  Listen.  What are you hearing?  Why do you believe in these thoughts and beliefs?  They are associated with past and present experiences.  How are they affecting you? 
 
Your relationship with money is connected to how you feel about your self.   It is one mirror that will reveal the truth.  If you feel stuck or you want to stop this repeating cycle, be in the moment, listen and look at the relationship you do have with money to switch the behavior.
 
Take back your power as you heal within.  Switch the behavior.  The more you understand this relationship you can understand why certain repetitive behaviors keep happening.  You will see how "being stuck" is the seed of fear of not knowing who you are and not being enough.